Tag Archives: adoptee psychology

Lost Daughters: Lost Daughters Discuss Veronica Brown Tonight

Lost Daughters: Lost Daughters Discuss Veronica Brown Tonight.

Lost Daughters contributors Trace DeMeyer, Samantha Franklin, Lynn Grubb, Deanna Shrodes, Julie Stromberg, and Karen Pickell will participate on a panel discussing the Veronica Brown situation on the radio show Voices of Our People, hosted by Emelie Jeffries. The show will air tonight, August 18, at 10:00 p.m. EST on Tampa community radio station WMNF 88.5 FM. Those outside the Tampa listening area can click on the “Listen Now” button at the top of the http://www.wmnf.org home page to hear the show.

Joining our Lost Daughters will be author and Native American adoptee Susan Fedorko, and Professor Laura Briggs, chair of Women, Gender, and Sexuality Studies at the University of Massachusetts.

[Reblog] Legacy of an Adopted Child

by Searching for Umma
on 13 Jan 2013

I wrote a little about this on my tumblr already, but I can’t get it out of my mind.

Your mother loved you so much, she gave you up. Two different kinds of love: the kind of love that sends you away, and the kind of love that saves you. This is exactly the kind of language that needs to be eradicated once and for all when dealing with adoptees. What does this say to us? Your mother loved you, yet she could rid her life of you permanently. What kind of love is that? And what does that teach us about love? That it’s conditional. That we’re disposable, even when we’re loved. That the kind of love she had for you is different than the kind of love your adoptive mother has for you, because she chose not to provide for you the way your adoptive mother does. What’s more, God was the one who separated you from your first mother, by answering the prayers of your adoptive mother.

Horrible. I hope this poem dies or has already died. The problem is, even if the poem didn’t exist, the mentality would still be there amongst a lot of APs. It’s such a harmful message, but one that I was told over and over growing up, and that I know a lot of other adoptees were, as well. If our first mothers loved us, how could they get rid of us? And if our adoptive parents love us, what’s to stop them from getting rid of us, too? Thus begins the adoptees’ struggles to either continuously please our APs in order to keep from being given up or sent away (in any sense of the word), or to push them away to see how much they’ll put up with before ridding their lives of us, much in the same way our first mothers did.

Read the rest over at Searching for Umma

Collaboration required

In this, the second of today’s awesome Twitter threads, I’m not convinced I’m going to be posting every comment into here because the thread did get quite long. It does, however, yield some useful discussion, and perhaps even begins to give some understanding between the varying types of kids who – however it happened – we raised away from their bfam for the path each of us trekked.

The thread does carry on for quite some way after this last Tweet I’ve posted. Due to the awkwardness of reposting Twitter threads though, I’m either going to have double some posts up, or miss some posts out. I don’t want to do either of those though, and so instead I’m going to cut it off in the post here, and leave you to go and investigate all the weird and wonderful directions the thread wendled on your own.

As with all Twitter threads, it can be useful to open some of the individual posts because sometimes conversations flow off side-wards.

Adoptees & RAD

Been a really busy day on-line for me today, including two awesome threads on Twitter. This is (some) of the first. As is usual with Twitter, it sometimes helps to click on the individual posts ’cause there’s many bits that diverge.

Deciding to adopt

Obviously, the thread descends somewhat from there. :}

THIS IS THE LINK to read from the Coram post, onwards.

EDIT: Additional discussion has taken place and the threads are now available @ this post.