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Reliquishment in Pictures.

When Adoptions Fail


I read a shocking report by Reuters about  adoptive parents who use the Internet to find new homes for children they no longer want.

The article is the first in a five-part series by Reuters that examines America’s underground market for adopted children. According to the report, parents are so eager to unload their kids that they hand them off to people they barely know. No screenings required. How horrible and dangerous for the children.

Children adopted from overseas are especially vulnerable to these unauthorized exchanges. As the article points out, Americans often don’t know what they’re getting into when they adopt children from other countries. They don’t know the child’s complete history. When problems arise at home, parents don’t have a support system in place. Bailing out seems like the best option for some desperate parents.

Adopting a child is not like purchasing a big-screen TV. You can’t take…

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Age range? Siblings?

It now feels important that the child/children I adopt fit in (as far as they can) with my wider family, nephews included, and friends

Another Mountain

One of the things I have been doing while I have been waiting (apart from waiting for the postman, rushing to the phone everytime it rings and checking my email several times per day) is reflecting and thinking.

As I stated in my first post, I made an initial enquiry almost 4 years ago. Then my life was very different. My bro and SIL had just had their first child who was a baby. I was considering adopting (if as a single person it was allowed) two school age children as that age group was where I had the most experience. Toddlers and small children, quite frankly, were a bit boring. My small nephew though gorgeous, was just a baby, he didn’t do much and I had no real relationship with him. I also wasn’t particularly close to my brother or sister in law.

Now things are very different. I…

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Why Adopt?

Dear Adoptive Parent Community…

Another great pic by Kate Dahlquist

Just a wee bit snarky today…

Unlawful Slavery abolished … to usher in Lawful Slavery

Q: How was Unlawful Slavery abolished?
{quote}A: By making it lawful and a function of State, via various for political and social changes.{quote} By turning it into adoption.

Not that that’s the thrust of this post, but it’s a highly relevant read for those who’re wondering why some of us adoptees compare adoption with slavery.

The Epinoiasphere

Ask any one if slavery has been abolished, and I would suggest that the overwhelming response would be a resounding “Yes!”.

But has it? Before we can answer that question, it would pay to define the word ‘abolish’;

a·bol·ish     /əˈbäliSH/   verb.

Formally put an end to (a system, practice, or institution)

Seems self explanatory: to abolish means to formally put and end to a practice, which is wholly consistent with what we believe to have happened.


So now let us see if what we believe is echoed in the political reality, for which we turn our attention to the official record of Parliament, that being, Hansard.

Mr Wilberforce, House of Commons, 13 June 1815 Hansard Vol 31   [link]


Many of his friends who then heard him would remember that, during the various discussions upon the abolition of the Slave-trade, it was constantly urged…

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Elsewhere on the site we have explored the “cost” of adoptee activism [ link ], and we have heard some stories of closed-down blogs and the like. Certain adoptee sites have erased past posts, or willingly avoid or openly mock the so-called “radical” in acts of self-censorship. Much of this is in the realm of our so-called rights of agency, such as free speech, opinion, etc.

What happens though when this line is crossed in a more dangerous way? I know of adoptees who fear for their lives for speaking out. I have been privy locally to adoptees whose activism has resulted in vague threats to “stop poking around”. I take these warnings very seriously, personally speaking.

At the Adoption Initiatives Conference at St. John’s University in New York in October, Ambassador Susan Jacobs, Special Advisor to the Secretary for Children’s Issues, U.S. Department of State stated that the term…

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Life, Adopted

I was fortunate recently to spend time in person with an online friend. She is an optimistic, energetic, positive and inspiring woman. Being around her is like being around an intense shot of firey, bright sunshine.  She is also a mother who relinquished her child for adoption. As we sat in a diner on a cold afternoon sipping hot, comforting beverages and swapping stories, I found myself wondering why the most basic human compassion is so often not offered within the context of crisis pregnancy, infertility and adoption.

My friend conceived under not-ideal circumstances. Taking in her words and seeing her tears as she spoke so honestly with me, I couldn’t help but note that while not-ideal, her circumstances had not been horrendously dire or insurmountable. A little bit of basic human compassion–a simple offer of help, a word of encouragement–could have empowered her to overcome the barriers. Those offers…

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