Category Archives: Reblogs

Lost Daughters: Lost Daughters Discuss Veronica Brown Tonight

Lost Daughters: Lost Daughters Discuss Veronica Brown Tonight.

Lost Daughters contributors Trace DeMeyer, Samantha Franklin, Lynn Grubb, Deanna Shrodes, Julie Stromberg, and Karen Pickell will participate on a panel discussing the Veronica Brown situation on the radio show Voices of Our People, hosted by Emelie Jeffries. The show will air tonight, August 18, at 10:00 p.m. EST on Tampa community radio station WMNF 88.5 FM. Those outside the Tampa listening area can click on the “Listen Now” button at the top of the home page to hear the show.

Joining our Lost Daughters will be author and Native American adoptee Susan Fedorko, and Professor Laura Briggs, chair of Women, Gender, and Sexuality Studies at the University of Massachusetts.

The Demand in America to become a Parent

Been trying to reblog this, but my comment’s obviously been FAAAAAAAAR too long to fit into what WP can handle, so I’m giving up ‘n’ adding my comment in on the reblog once it’s finally happened (it’s the first comment).

A Few Pieces Missing From Normalcy - An Infertile Man's Perspective

In our society there is ignorance (being uninformed) on many topics that lead to problems others suffer from. As a child I was unfairly stereotyped as a learning disabled child who should be coddled rather than challenged. The ignorance there was board of education leaders not understanding that every child is different. If it weren’t for my parents I would have suffered by never being challenged.

Now as an adult dealing with infertility with my wife we are dealing with a different type of societal ignorance and that is being childless. Time Magazine has published an article about those who choose to live a ChildFree lifestyle. While the article does hit on some key points how times have changed it does miss on other aspects such as missing the class of women who are childless by circumstance not by choice.

Pamela Tsigdinos a blogger an author of the book…

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Unlawful Slavery abolished … to usher in Lawful Slavery

Q: How was Unlawful Slavery abolished?
{quote}A: By making it lawful and a function of State, via various for political and social changes.{/quote} By turning it into adoption.

Not that that’s the thrust of this post, but it’s a highly relevant read for those who’re wondering why some of us adoptees compare adoption with slavery.

The Epinoiasphere

Ask any one if slavery has been abolished, and I would suggest that the overwhelming response would be a resounding “Yes!”.

But has it? Before we can answer that question, it would pay to define the word ‘abolish’;

a·bol·ish     /əˈbäliSH/   verb.

Formally put an end to (a system, practice, or institution)

Seems self explanatory: to abolish means to formally put and end to a practice, which is wholly consistent with what we believe to have happened.


So now let us see if what we believe is echoed in the political reality, for which we turn our attention to the official record of Parliament, that being, Hansard.

Mr Wilberforce, House of Commons, 13 June 1815 Hansard Vol 31   [link]


Many of his friends who then heard him would remember that, during the various discussions upon the abolition of the Slave-trade, it was constantly urged…

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[Reblog] Original Birth Certificates

I’d refuse to a job that clashes so violently with my own dictates of right and wrong.

Angela Tucker

I feel a sense of power as I sit in my office with an adopted child’s original birth certificate on my desk. The certified birth certificate will go into the child’s file, and locked away in a vault never to be seen again as mandated by Washington State law. The birth certificates list the full names of the child’s birth parents as well as the name that the birth parent chose for them. The adoptive  family does not know the birth parents last names. Nor do they know the name the birth parent originally chose for the child.

As I look at the vital document, I feel that I’m committing an infraction of sorts, in knowing that the child to whom this information belongs will never be allowed to view it.  The irony and weight of the moment is not lost, as I am keenly aware of the hours of…

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[Reblog] Legacy of an Adopted Child

by Searching for Umma
on 13 Jan 2013

I wrote a little about this on my tumblr already, but I can’t get it out of my mind.

Your mother loved you so much, she gave you up. Two different kinds of love: the kind of love that sends you away, and the kind of love that saves you. This is exactly the kind of language that needs to be eradicated once and for all when dealing with adoptees. What does this say to us? Your mother loved you, yet she could rid her life of you permanently. What kind of love is that? And what does that teach us about love? That it’s conditional. That we’re disposable, even when we’re loved. That the kind of love she had for you is different than the kind of love your adoptive mother has for you, because she chose not to provide for you the way your adoptive mother does. What’s more, God was the one who separated you from your first mother, by answering the prayers of your adoptive mother.

Horrible. I hope this poem dies or has already died. The problem is, even if the poem didn’t exist, the mentality would still be there amongst a lot of APs. It’s such a harmful message, but one that I was told over and over growing up, and that I know a lot of other adoptees were, as well. If our first mothers loved us, how could they get rid of us? And if our adoptive parents love us, what’s to stop them from getting rid of us, too? Thus begins the adoptees’ struggles to either continuously please our APs in order to keep from being given up or sent away (in any sense of the word), or to push them away to see how much they’ll put up with before ridding their lives of us, much in the same way our first mothers did.

Read the rest over at Searching for Umma

[Reblog] History of Adoption Language Research

I’ve been pondering for a while the language used around adoption, and even have aborted attempts at writing about it in drafts on where I also hypothsise about why adoption language should be positive, rather than normal, or honest. Thus I’m delighted to find that someone has actually managed to construct a post that I couldn’t.

Adoption Triad Dance

From where and how did adoption language originate, develop, change, expand, increase, and become loan words and metaphors used in other domains?  Further, what connotations do adoption words carry and how do the connotations affect perceptions of adoption?    As an adoptee and an adoptive mom in Dr. Taylor’s Linguistic class, I found myself wondering why the hair stands up on the back of my neck when I hear or read “adopt the legislation,” “adopt-a-lot,” “orphan article,” and other such items.  Do the words themselves possess definitive power in their origin?  Or, does my personal experience with adoption cause me to hover and sometimes wince?  Where did the words surrounding adoption originate?

Following Dr. Taylor’s caveat to reach out to an expert, I sent Adam Pertman (Executive Director of the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, the preeminent research, policy and education organization in its field) an email with “Adoption Language Research…

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[Reblog] Used for a cause

*nods all the way through again*

[Reblog] Welcome to my new site

Yay, a new blog’s out. Another voice to the chorus.

[Reblog] The political and economic context of adoption.

Daniel Drennan ElAwar

It is misleading to conceptualize the needs and concerns of prospective parents as being somehow outside of or separate from the needs and concerns of the nation. Individuals who adopt from abroad do so within a particular domestic/international/political context. Their needs and desires are socially constructed and emerge out of the same domestic/international/political and economic context as the policies that formally address national needs and concerns. —Kirsten Lovelock, “Intercountry Adoption as a Migratory Practice”; International Migration Review

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[Reblog] An Unrhymed Sonnet

Stunningly awesome writing from Snow Leopard.

So evocative!


The Mason jars are prepped; the pectin’s hot;
and orphaned berries plucked from far and wide
weep juice in bowls and plates and wait their turn
to be preserved—this season’s sweetest thing.

Some goes bad before it can be sold,
while others never make it to the floor
or shelf; a few expire, some just get old;
and others go on sale or get returned.

From dusty boxes stored away, they break
the wax to taste the jam and silver spoons
disturb the sticky skin; this sample takes a bit
by bit away, takes something out of it,

but that’s the game. Let none be bound for land-
fill’s waste; still, there’s no accounting for taste.

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